Course Dilemma

Well, here it is again... new post, same topic. I don't know but I just feel so stuck right now. I was busy the whole day so right now I'm actually fighting to do this post to relieve how I feel somehow. Think of me having late-night sleeps (which is pretty much okay lang if I could wake up a little late, say about 8?) and last night, despite my longing to fall asleep, I felt very much awake. So after struggling with myself, I finally got myself to doze off at 0230H! Much earlier in the night, at 2200H, I set my alarm to go off at 0700H so that I could prepare before my cousin came by (she asked me to come along with her as they did their project in my bro's house); but in the end, I was awake by 0545H... MAN! It felt as though I were having a hang-over, and my head was pounding mercilessly....my eyelids were heavy and refused to open themselves but my body actually wanted to get up out of bed! THIS IS WAR!!! No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get back to sleep, so I dragged myself outta bed and tried to find something to do...

My cousin had asked me to join her (and some classmates) to my bro's house. They were gonna do some shooting there... MTV Style... I was thinking: COOL, at least I get to see somewhat of the things I'll be doing in Mass Comm. As I watched them do their thing, I couldn't help but get FREAKED OUT!!! THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT ME! I can't imagine my life going by doing this thing (as I had thought earlier on)... It actually brings me to tears (LITERALLY!) cos it's now I know clearly that I wanna be in med. school.
I WANNA BE A DOCTOR.

I've had many visions of this before but lately, I didn't want to believe in those visions anymore because of the many things I want to be... so I've started asking friends, and my family what they really imagine me to be... do they see me working in an office? do they see me as a chef? do they see me as a journalist? etc... I know I've got the potential to be anything I want... and many even do agree with me... MANY, if not all, agree that they really envision me as a doctor. I remember talking with my adviser (who also took up med.) long time ago, telling her of my plans of not pursuing med. any longer... I can't really explain how depressed she was at me then... talagang nagtampo siya sa akin... and now, I told her of my new plans to take up med. after mass comm. She was so happy, she kept pushing me to do it... She said it would be the happiest thing. It would be her dream to see me diagnose her someday... aaaaawww...

I am well-aware of the many hardships being a doctor undergoes...yet I think I'd like to give it a shot. I've read Nothing Lasts Forever (by Sidney Sheldon)... somehow, traumatic... I actually found myself making the book a reflection... I'd always stop to ask myself questions and imagine... but now I feel the strong urge na talaga... stronger than ever... I find myself deeply interested in the different sides of the hospital... I think I'd even prefer that compared to having a clinic of my own... but then again, who knows what the future holds? I've created a HUGE MISTAKE!!! CATASTROPHE!!! But I know, God's going to lead me to exactly where He wants me to be... There's no one I can depend on right now but on Him.

just another useless lingo

Just as i was having my breakfast this morning, this fact on the tv news caught my attention: Mga Estudyanteng Pilipino, hirap mag-Filipino. Okay,... and they treat it like it something soooo bad, soooo aweful. It's not that terrible, really. I talked the situation over with my mom and she just agrees with what I'm saying.

I'm thinking that's just a sign that we should go on and prioritize other things instead of the Filipino dialect. If they want to have other languages in our country, FINE! but better make that English and some other international language. After all, what's the point of studying our native language if it won't be able to help our county rise. This is because who else understands our Filipino language, aside from our native locals... We can't use our local tongues when we go speak with foreigners.