a revelation

got to have a 3G experience today. 3G standing for Gossip Girlz Gimmick.

the day started with a field trip to RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine). The night before (last night), Carisse and Bea were inviting me to ride with them but I just had to decline. I found the "call time" too early (630am! I'm just waking up at that time). Kinda sad tho cos as Carisse said, we rarely get to hang-out now, and they're missing me (awww. of course I miss them too).

NOTE: BitChFit Inseparablez (BCF in short)/ Inseparable DLs / Beauty and Brains Society- Carisse, Bea, Carlann, Diana, and I
GossipGirlz - Rox, Glace, ate Chris, Ge-An, Joy, LA, Keni, Lani (our newest member), and I.

Anyway, at first, I asked Carisse if they wanted to hit the malls after the activity and she said we're definitely gonna.... to play CS. the thing is, that ain't really my thing. i don't wanna get addicted again to computer gaming. i was kinda bummed but just intended to join for the sake of getting to bond with them.

During the program proper, I once again had felt the disadvantage of having both your cliques at one venue. I didn't know who to stay with. So, I devised a plan of action. i'd go back and forth through the two groups. haha. kakapagod lang nga. so i said, fine. i'd stay with Carisse now then after the break, if any, i'd stay with the GossipGirlz. While with the BCF, the sad part was that I felt as though I hardly knew them. We were still friends, the bond was still there but I felt distant. Like I had told Carisse last night, blame the institution. we never hang-out anymore and thus, we only get to say HI's to each other, but we never really had the time for communication. After a few minutes, my friends from the other circle were calling me. They were having some photoshoot and of course I had to be there. MULTIPLY!!! errr, i mean MULTI-FLY!!!! And, I ended up staying with them throughout the whole activity. That film on rabies cases, it really scared the hell outta me. gave me the shivers. di tuloy ako makakain ng sisig for lunch, much as I wanted to cos it might contain animal brain, tapos it might not be well-cooked... tapos, ayun na, baka magka-rabies na ako (yes, you can get rabies thru this way daw, sabi ng asa RITM).... oh no! sisig-o-phobia! haha.

After, I asked Rox if they had any plans of bonding after the activity and tho she hadn't brought any money, she agreed to the plan and said we could have our bonding at festi. So, to cut things short, after careful deliberation, I ended joining the GossipGirlz. Sorry Carisse & Bea!!! You know I still love you guyz!

At festi, we couldn't enjoy ourselves. we weren't free kasi may isang naki-epal (as i think they would call it). Well, actually she's okay with me kasi i haven't really interacted with that girl pa but they say she's got some attitude problem. So, they were trying to think of ways to get all frank with her, which I couldn't do (despite my being straightforward) cos i barely know her. and, i kinda feel sorry for her since everyone has their back against her daw. yes, everyone, not just them. so, that's another reason daw why they didn't want her around. if people found out daw that she was with us, LOSER!

To highlight the main issue of this blog, a friend and I got to chat one-on-one. She opened up her insights regarding my other group of friends. I'm glad she understands how I'm their friend and yet, she opened up to me. And I'm also glad she did so, cos in that way I realize that I'm not the only one who has felt that feeling. I'm not gonna elaborate on what was told to me for the sake of that person, for the sake of confidentiality. but what I'm gonna say is that regarding my other friends, I do feel the sense that they're pretty hard to get into as a group, they feel as tho they're exclusive or something. I feel as though they think they're gods and they choose to socialize with people of equal class/intelligence. I feel bad because somehow, I feel like they belittle my new group of friends. I mean, I don't think they actually are like that but that's how it feels like. Since the start of summer, since i'm classmates with a few friends from both clans, I've made the effort to introduce them to each other in the hopes of getting them to collaborate, in the hopes of making our groups merge, in the hopes of having a larger circle of friends. But it seems as though they aren't welcome to that idea. Sure, they sit with us during lunch breaks but that's it. they just stay with us in our table, they don't even mingle with us, they don't even at least TRY to.

According to that someone, I used to be that way too but now, I've changed. And, if it's for that reason, I'm glad I've changed. I'm glad I've been hanging out with this other group as well to balance myself.