Thursday, October 08, 2009

sleep deprivation secondary to a pre-exam rant

I can take being professional but there’s NO WAY I can fake being friendly with her. Especially after that confrontation that we (Cheska, Jhingle, Phogie, Yanyan, and I) had with her which eventually evolved into a “cyber war”. She even involved her mom into the issue and her aunt as well who actually THREATENED TO SUE US on the grounds of child abuse, I think. Haha. Ooooh, I’m so scared! Oh, please! Pfft.

ADHD AIN’T A VALID REASON TO INTRUDE OTHER PEOPLE’S PERSONAL LIVES AND TAKE MUCH OF THEIR PRECIOUS TIME!

I’ve completely dismissed the whole incident already since she started to lie low. But that lasted only a few months. It’s been barely even a year. Now, friends and I begin to notice she’s starting to get to us again, starting to “climb the social ladder” again, thinking we’re uberly-close and everything.

Wrong step, kid. With your attitude and behavior, NONE OF US ARE WILLING TO LET OUR GUARDS DOWN. Plus, call it discrimination if you want but I only interact with SMART, MATURE people.

I mean, c’mon… one time, Nicole said Niña called Nicole’s dad through his CP and he said she wasn’t around. FINE. But guess what. It seems Niña wanted an explanation pa as to why Nicole wasn’t with him. C’mon! If I remember right, he was at work then. Haaay… pathetic!

Anyway, fast forward to the present… last night. Wednesday. 07 Oct 2009. Kuya Carlo asked her to read (to see if she was qualified to read for the children’s mass on Nov). ok, fine. It was really ok for me to actually interact with her on a “business level” as she was practicing but she had to go and take things to the next level and started making kwento, asking stuff about my life, school to be exact. Not really personal but I didn’t want to have anything to do with her na kasi.

I felt my blood rise up to my head in rage, vomit coming all the way up to the esophagus in disgust. I ttok a deep breath. I had to harness all my strength just to answer her damn questions. PA-TIENCE… I had to repeat it in my mind. SORRY BUT I JUST CAN’T BE A PLASTIC.

I ain’t holding a grudge but I can’t exactly forget the past, can I? that would be REPRESSION (tama ba? Or DISSOCIATION? SUPPRESSION? Point is it’s a defense mechanism. Shucks. I can’t remember Psych Nsg. and it’s included in later’s exam – considering it’s 4AM of Thursday, 08 Oct.)

And, to top it all off, she had to ask for my number! ARGH!
I WAS ABOUT TO SNAP TILL I REMEMBERED I WAS INSIDE THE CHURCH.
I wanted to say I don’t memorize it but my CP was right there… DAMN IT!
So I looked around then pretended to scrimmage through my phonebook, trying to buy myself extra time to decide whether to give it or not. I felt like I had to ‘cos what if something impt. comes up and she needed to contact me (i.e. something regarding her reading for the children’s mass). I wanted not to give it… I wanted that badly. I was very much tempted to change some of the numbers as I was giving it to her…grrr…

The instant she turned around & started to leave, I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I turned to Kuya Carlo & blurted out loud to him: I’M DEAD.
She may have been a stone’s throw away, and she definitely could have heard that ‘cos I said it aloud. But I DON’T CARE. I wanted to cry (and I’m the type who rarely cries). I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I needed my best friend there.
Then again, I hope she heard that comment I made earlier ‘cos then at least she’d know I wasn’t willing to befriend her yet. I swear, if she gets incessantly annoying, I may not be as nice as I tried to be in the first confrontation where I had chosen my words carefully (and yet she still got offended). I wouldn’t waste my efforts doing that ‘cos it seems she just doesn’t get it. Instead, I’ll be true to myself this time around… I’ll be me,... the brutally frank & straightforward person who tells it as it is.

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One thing made me forget about the incident for a while tho… Kuya Carlo suggesting I should have changed the number I gave out. Hahaha. I was so shocked to hear something like that from him, nakakatuwa. Haha. Thanks for that kuya (and all the advices you mentioned to calm me down) =)

Immediately told my mom after and she suggested that I should have said I’ll just send my number to her. And also to just ignore all the texts and calls, hanggang magsawa un. As if that would happen.

Getting in touch with my bestfriend, she told me she’d pray for my patience and peace of mind when I start getting bombarded with all her texts. I also told her: I know I don’t really drink but I feel like I need a drinking buddy right now. She replied telling me to wait a few more days when she’s finally the legal age of 18. haha.



NOTE: see my previous blog entry, "the heat is on", dated 14 January 2009 to read the commentary i sent to Niña during that confrontation.

4 comments:

g said...

and that kept you up til 4 in the morning? dang, femi! haha. wow. don't really know what to comment on that coz i don't know the kid and i never had this issue hehe. maybe, just give it to her straight. you know, like frankly tell her what you feel about her without sugar-coating but, not being rude either. 'member she's just a kid. haha. or... have you done that already? hmmmm idk that's the only solution i could think of just so you won't get into another sticky situation like when she asked for your number. ADHD ey? yeah, that's a problem. good luck with that. :p

Femzter said...

ge!!!! haha well, nope... i actually slept then awoke at about 4 and couldnt sleep after... and yeah, did do that, remember... we talked about it that time as we were on ER duty with Dr. Dino ata un..

dude, we forgot something at school today. we forgot to ask when enrollment is and we also forgot to ask for those forms so we could fill em up already so there's less worries on enrollment day. silly us. we checked out next sem's tentative sched but enrollment skipped our minds

Chesky said...

DUDE. I hate the biznatchhh, f'realzzzz. But I know you know that 'cause I was talking to you on the phone regarding just that last night... :| ANYWAY. Dude, after I've read this especially the part on you wanting to cry (And I know you. You don't ever cry -- at least in public or you don't let it be known), I didn't know that that was the extent of how she got to you! The biznatch is definitely messing with your patience! :| mine as well. You know my utter annoyance and obvious dislike. Between the 2 of us, you were always the more straightforward and frank one. Dude, bring the guns out. No more Ms. Nice Girl. Seriously. I've been showing it like full on and I'm wanting her to notice I hate her. Wanna know why? I want a confrontation with her, her mom, her aunt, whatever other person she can come up with. ADHD is no excuse, like what you said. One of my batchmates in high school had that and despite having that, he interacted just fine. It took effort from him, yes, but at least.

With her, she's just plain ass annoying. Since her mom already knows how annoyed we are with her, she should just stay the heck away, especially from you and I. I do not know how much more I can tolerate her because if you won't say something, I will.

And to everyone who will read this blog post, I pray to God you'd never have to meet this insubordinate.

Femzter said...

ches... well, let me just say...
TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

and that's what i'm waiting for... the perfect opportunity to strike...

although...

wouldn't it be more fun to....

let her destroy her own self even more nalang. and let me just say, THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES BEST.... specially about all those things she says about MARK (Lonzaga) having a crush on her?!?! eeeck. creepy. i swear. if she stands by what she says, she better repeat this right in front of the ENTIRE ARCHCON CONGREGATION... with ate Joj present.