HIM

HE is but a loser
HE doesn't deserve even a part of me
HE has done nothing but cause me hurt over the time flown,

without even his conscious knowing

yet WHY do I still feel this way

WHY do I still care

WHY am I still being demented

WHY do I still love

WHY do I stil find myself longing for him

WHY do I still keep thinking about what could have been

when what could have been is much better than what couldn't have been at all

WHY do I still keep hoping

HOPING that someday he'd realize

HOPING that someday all my desired would come

*** Wrote this while I was at church, supposedly listening to some boring seminar. Well, at least I got myself pre-occupied for, like, 5 minutes?! It was this 4th Grand Cenacle thing-y and I had to stay there from the 1pm mass all the way till the usual 6pm anticipated mass.

Anxiety

Okay, so I was supposed to be happy for yesterday... WE were all happy that we made it through the CPR (even went as far as congratulating ourselves) but I guess we celebrated too soon...

Received news this morning that A LOT OF US FAILED. yes, bummer. If the passing rate was 75%, about 10-15 people failed... BUT... if the passing was 81 (which is our normal passing rate), HALF THE CLASS FAILED!

oh man...

I mean, technically, I shouldn't be scared. I'm realy one of those people who can be considered as impossible-to-fail. It's impossible for me to fail, literally. Classmates (and CIs as well) were shocked to know that even I myself felt scared for the CPR. They knew I could get by it without any problems. But even so, I can't underestimate the fact that the class got THAT LOW a result. There's still that small possibility. I may be one of those on the borderline. I'm scared. quite scared.

Although, there's nothing much to fear, I know. The CPR is just the first of a four-part screening program. There'll soon be the APSA-ANP to face, as well as the Battery Exam. Apart from those two coming exams, our grades will also be part of those that will help us in getting into the next level. All I need to do right now is bank up on my grades and await the coming exams (not to mention final exams next week as well). And, in a way, I am excited and looking forward to those exams (as I do love having exams...hehe. I know, weird.)

I'm ALIVE!

Never thought breathing felt this good.

It's our CPR (Comprehensive Panel Revalida) today. I was number 5 (got to know last week, we got to pick numbers from the container). Yeah, sure, I wanted to be either # 5 or 6 (so I was pretty darn lucky!) but I preferred 6 more (as it's my fave number)... unfortunately, Jvix didn't want to switch with me, waaah! so mean! hehe. So, today came... only the first 10 could stay in the 3rd floor, all the rest had to wait in the caf.

Listed here are the top 6 ( like you'd even know them haha!). I usually focus on the person right before and after me but today I tried to take note of all those before me as well, so these are the only ones whose order I'm sure of:

1. Joan C.
2. Rox U.
3. Mira P.
4. Gilbert D.
5. Femi E.
6. Jvix G.

I was scared alright, but you can't really call it nervousness... I was still somehow carefree. But the moment Gilbert went out, OKAY. I started going stiff. literally. and the CIs had to make me wait out (more torture!). By the time was called in, I didn't know how to act... should I wait for some signal or should I just go ahead and start introducing myself already (esp. since one of my panelists wasn't there yet). Luckily, Ms. Sue (my CI and also the other one of my panelists) had entered the room and now told me to introduce myself, so I did. Sir Nathan told me to pick my topic from the rolls of paper in the container, after which, he told me to read it to them. As I unrolled the piece of paper I got, I was relieved. I got topic number 9! That was Assessment of the Skin, Nails, Hair, Ears, Neck; BP by palpation; obtaining BP! Those topics I loved! BP! The hard thing though was that it was so hard to palpate the patient's pulse. It was thready.

I was still pretty nervous inside the NSk but the moment I got out, oh you should have seen me. I was in a state of euphoria. It probably showed on my face since people noticed a big huge grin plastered on my face and they were asking me how it went! Oh, it felt so good to have it over and done with. And luckily as well, the moment I got out, I spotted my best buds there and got to get a hug from Carisse as I released all the tension that built up within me over those few minutes.

happy....yet anxious

To breathe a sigh of relief. Oh, it feels so good. My day went along perfectly.

Ana Lec - got 2 recitation tickets. One was from defining the function of the rugae in the stomach and another for tracing the path of digestion. YAY! so happy, especially for the last one where I was able to trace the flow of food from the oral cavity to the anal canal (and I'm not talking about naming only the major organs). Even my prof seemed amazed cos everyone was just trying to get things together, memorizing it and stuff ... and I was already raising my hand, ready to answer... this was exactly right after discussion. My classmates even asked me to recite it again, slowly, so they could jot it down. Should've asked the teacher for another ticket for me having to enumerate it all over again. DARN! haha!

Ana Lab - had some quizzes on the Respiratory system. Pretty easy despite the fact that I didn't study at all (well, except for memorizing the pulmonary volumes and capacities and also the pathway of air). It was really hard to study cos of Jvix (ha! special mention ha! hehe)! He was (as usual) so talkative and i kept trying to shush him but he just keeps annoying me and telling me all sorts of stories. hmm... but anyway, thanks to him, at least I didn't have to strain my brain studying further when I didn't need any more information. Yes, luckily, aside from those I memorized, all were stuck knowledge (well, for me anyway).

After the quizzes, we had some activities. We decided to segregate our group. Kari, Ritchy, Gilbert, and Rao would do the experiments as Jvix, Mari, Ate Chris and I do the lab exercises. And what happened? haay, ayun. let's just say B.I. sina Jvix at Mari as nahawa ako sa mga kakulitan nila. ayun. haha. pero it was fun naman. At least the exercise is due on Monday pa. haha.


BREAK - the most awaited event. Lunch at Joan's place. Plan was that we would do the cooking. I don't know what happened, we got there and voila! lunch was already prepared. and oh man, sira ang mga diet namin! ang sarap ng food. Joan's mom prepared seafood pasta (so yum-yum) plus there were 2 huge boxes of pizza from Big Apple. Especially loved the seafood pizza. As for dessert, this type of kakanin was served and also, ice cream. BEN AND JERRY'S!!! (umm, tama ba?) super super yummy! there were 2 flavors: banana split... and I forgot the other one but it was banana too with nuts (i think) and DARK CHOCOLATE (my fave)! (halatang un lang kinain ko noh, ung dark chocolate lang. hehe)

PHC - wala lang, quiz lang. but started late eh (started at 4 instead of the usual 330). So as I was waiting for the time, I spotted Bea and Diana in the faculty room, talking with Sir Medina (Ana prof) so I stayed over with them muna. And sir mentioned to them how good I was... awww, sir. thank you! :) hehe. grabe! it was so fun. ang kulit ni sir!!! hehe. and Bea and Di too, they were keeping him for that long. Imagine. I spotted them at about 345? I had to go in at 4, for class, took the quiz, and when I went out, they were still there talking. Since I wasn't about to go home yet, I stayed with them na. We were just there until 530 and Bea still didn't want sir to go... awww. hehe. anyway...

My current anxiety: tomorrow's RLE... medication administration. ID, IM, Subcu. haay, good luck naman sa ret dem. *gulp*

Lessons

#1. Before you even rejoice in the thought of a long break from studies (due to class suspensions / holidays), THINK TWICE! There's gonna be a lot of making-up to do afterwards. Especially with our situation, midterms are up next week and we've missed a lot of classes in our Thursday-Friday sched (since most of the class suspensions fell on these days). So, unfortunately, this week, AnaLab time was used for Health Ethics. 'Twas such a shame, I love anatomy class. Apart from that, we won't experience going to school at 9 AM this week (our Th-F classes normally start at this time)... instead, we're going to have to make that time 8AM to make-up for our missed quizzes and lessons in Ethics. To think Wednesday's our RLE day, that must be...bleck.

NOTE: thankfully, though, today, we had a film showing for our Ethics class. We watched John Q and I found the story rather nice, and I especially liked the part where they did the heart transplant of the boy. =)

#2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS BRING YOUR BP APP. You never know when someone's going to ask you to take their BP.

What happened, yesterday during our RLE day was that we had our midterm exams then were given a 15min. break. I decided to go up to the 4th floor. All of a sudden, I was "ambushed" by my classmate. Turns out, some prof was asking her to take his BP and now, she goes and asks me to do it. I was calm about it, sure. After all, I like doing vital signs and I'm already so comfortable with it as I'm always the one taking my mom's BP. And sometimes, some relatives even ask me to take their BP as well. So, at that moment, I was thinking, 'yun lang pala eh... and I was wondering why my friend was like "natataranta" ... But after some time, I don't know what happened, I little by little got intimidated... maybe it was because here I was, in the faculty room of the Nursing department, about to take some prof's BP... or maybe it was because I didn't have my trustworthy BP app with me at that time and I was scared of using another one, which I may not have been accustomed to (I told my friend earlier that I didn't have my BP app with me and she said.. "meron ata siya eh."). Sure, I had my stet (in case the CIs wanted us to do assessment that day) but I left it in the Nursing Skills lab. I didn't want to go down and get it as I might disturb others who may still be taking the exam.

Conclusion (???):

So, does that actually mean that I literally have to bring my bp app (and probably other paraphernalia) everywhere? Even during my outside-school "travels" (a.k.a mga lakwatsa)? haha.

Before I forget:

Regarding my previous post (Quadriplegic Confusion), it's confirmed by another CI of ours. That situation is not possible. The term used for an amputee is different from that of a paralyzed man.

Quadriplegic Confusion

Quadriplegia is defined as the paralysis of both upper and lower extremities.

As one of the CIs was giving some scenario earlier, the following was mentioned regarding the patient's condition:
" ... a quadriplegic patient.... on top of all that, he is paralyzed on his left side..."

My Reaction (and the class as well): WHAT?!?!?!
Now that doesn't seem to make sense. Could it possibly be that he meant hemiplegia (for those who don't know, hemiplegia is defined as the paralysis of the body's half - either the right or left side). Classmates were confused. I was trying to think of the possibility that he (the CI) may just be simply mistaken.
Someone goes and asks what he means by quadriplegia, he answers: "the absence of the arms and limbs".
Another one goes and says: "I'm confused. So, are you saying that he has no arms & legs? (yes daw) You mean they (upper and lower extremities) had been amputated?". Suprisingly, the CI answers: "Yes, it had been amputated."
My Reaction: "oh, THAT is definitely NOT right." (of course, I only said it in my mind). It was at this point that I DEFINITELY had to voice out what I thought, saying:
"But sir, doesn't quadriplegia mean the paralysis of both the upper and lower extremities?"

The CI simply restates the patient's condition... "...quadriplegic... soon experienced a stroke, which is why he is now also paralyzed on his left side."
haay. hopeless. we were still in the middle of "debating" when some announcement gets in the way that classes were suspended. Surprisingly, we were all enjoying and didn't want to go home... but we had to.

After that, I thought to myself (even mentioned this to some friends). Fine. The patient's paralyzed, i still can't see why we can't make an occupied bed (which was one of the tasks to be completed). Secondly, let's forget the patient's paralyzed and take the worse scenario, he doesn't have any arms and legs! Yet, you expect us to get the pt. up & out of bed, and into the wheelchair (another one of the tasks). The pt. has no legs, he can't stand! Sure, you can probably carry the patient from bed to wheelchair... but still.

passing time

Okay, so earlier, my friend Diana asked me why I haven't been writing for a while. True. One reason probably would be that I didn't have time to update my blog much any longer. Second, (again, I'm blaming all the requirements placed upon us sophie BSNs) with all the requirements we have to do and with all the deadlines we have to meet, what thing of interest can I write about? Sure there's a lot of everyday laughs with friends and classmates but c'mon I really wouldn't want to write about every little deatil in my life now, would I?

So, now, I'm taking advantage of this time to post whatever random stuffs just enter my mind. I'm warning you, this may be really senseless but hey, I just kinda missed blogging, and I'm trying to make time pass quickly.

#1. We've had 2 class days suspended, and for the first time we had no RLE! yahoo! although, should I really be celebrating these facts? RLE is a very important subject for us and not that I hate it (it's actually one of my faves) but it's just the fact that I've got a lot of friends with numerous pending ret.dems already and here we are, having a new set awaiting us (assessment). Plus, we have this announced-only-hours-before quiz on the entire chapter 37! technically, I don't really study but I try to during this midterms cos I definitely am not happy with my prelim grades. Now, going back, the thing is that since RLE is an impt. subj. of ours, I've had friends tell me we may need to undergo Saturday class just to make up for it (oh no). As for our other subjects, we're pretty much "readying" ourselves for the anticipated heavy workload the profs are sending our way (argh.)

#2. 2 class days suspended due to the typhoon. went home an hour and a half earlier than normal today cos we didn't have IC class (possibly due to college night??? I don't know). Now, why do I feel damn exhausted.

#3. Wish everyday was Monday & Tuesday (and fine, Wednesday - will I be able to take it if this day was included? haha). I LOVE THESE DAYS. All our major subjects are crammed into these days. Sure, this may be our "busy days" (Thursdays and Fridays are our "sleepy days" as me and my friends call it) but these days keep our brains thinking. Besides, aside from the fact that our major subjects are my fave subjects, I really have fun during these days, 'specially during lab.

#4. GOOD THING: excited for tomorrow. I'm going out with friends. Can't believe I'm actually going to watch some cartoons (Ratatouille and Simpsons). And, can't believe I'm actually taking public transpo... which is why I asked Bea & Di that we go there together (since I'm on the way naman). I can ride a trike, I just don't know how to call a jeep (and ask it to stop when the trip is over) haha. It was the decision of both Bea and I to take public transpo since it's fun (plus adventurous)

#5. Should I get a Sun sim? The line is 300 bucks a month for 24 months x3 for 3 phones (for Bea, Carisse, and I). It ought to work out for the whole company. Carlann's already on Sun, Di has got a Sun sim as well ( questionable na lang kung gumagana pa)... so the three of us are the only ones left. the cons: $$$ the pros: unli calls, here we come!