Happiness

Ok, so here's the thing... All this time, I've been blogging about my disappointment regarding my college course and I've finally shifted to another course. BS Nursing. I've actually been choosing between that or Psych, I was totally clueless since there were pros and cons in both. Everyone else i asked just told me to take whichever I wanted more based on my interest (guess that would have been Psych) but when I thought about it, at least Nursing would have been already closer to the med industry (Psych to me was kinda in between med and business, but at least you get to interpret people's personalities).. and besides, at least Nursing's already in the hospital environment, it would help me get used to the environment kahit papaano... tapos at least, double degree pa ko, I can be both a doctor and a nurse... hehehe... It would be the opposite of what doctors today are doing (taking a Nursing course just to get out of the
country); but I've got no plans of working abroad right now, I'd rather stay in this country (same as my cuz).... and another thing, as a friend had said when I asked his advice, at least Nursing has a lot of good opportunities na (in case I suddenly change my mind, which would be least likely to happen ata, I don't think I can stay a nurse forever... I can't imagine myself, tho my cuz can)...

Yesterday morn, mga 11am, I headed to SISC for the scheduled interview; after which, they told me to call again the next day for the results... but to my surprise, later that day (at around 4pm), the phone rang... my mom was the one who had answered it since I was busy feeding my new baby bunny wabbit.. Ü A few minutes later, she came into my room and told me that Southville had called and had told her that I was highly recommended for Nursing... *shrugs*... whatever that means...

During the interview, I was actually surprised to find myself confident and at ease, talking to the dean freely, sharing everything (even my being so clueless on what course to take)... I was being so honest and wasn't even trying to sell myself... the only lie i had said was when I was asked if I could see myself as a nurse, if that was ok for me in case something happened that I wasn't able to take up medicine (for which i said, "yeah.")... I should have been that way during my interview in Mass Communications, I should have been that confident, but why wasn't I???? Could it have been because I was more eager to get in Nursing since it was my stepping stone for getting into Med??? Whatever it is, I find myself happy now and at peace since at least, somehow, I'm one step closer to being a doctor.... good luck na lang sa tagal nun... haaaay....Ü

If You Could See Me Now (Cecelia Ahern)

I'm an absolute fan of Cecelia Ahern's works ever since I read her first novel, PS I Love You; so when I got to see this latest novel of hers in Powerbooks, I wanted so much to get a copy of it but alas, it was too expensive. Months passed and I thought of finally checking the bookstores for it but in all stores I've checked with, they still hadn't received a copy of this novel. I was so disappointed and thought I should never have let it go in the first place. I considered myself lucky when we went to Ortigas and I found a copy of it there that I pushed myself to buy it even if it would hurt my wallet, big time! Talk about spending 700 bucks for a piece of book containing 307 pages.

Guys, do me a favor and never erase this quote from your mind: "Don't judge a book by its cover."
I mean it! This book's cover looked so good, so catchy... even the summary written could catch your attention. But, as I began reading through the pages, I started getting disappointed in the author's style. As the story progressed, the plot did get better but it was so simple, nothing extraordinary, there was no ooomph. Even more, it wasn't as romantic as it seemed to be. Actually, to think about it, it wasn't romantic at all, it was basically about friendship. Sure, there was some romance in it but not really something to make you swoon. That may be because it's about imaginary friends! HOW CHILD-ISH! How lame can that be?! That was the biggest downpull of this novel.

I don't intend to destroy the reputation of the author cos i still do admire her, i still do agree that she's good in writing romance novels. She doesn't write them in the traditional boy-meets-girl approach, those stuff are just so predictable these days. For the romantics out there, I highly recommend PS I Love You. Her second novel, Rosie Dunne, is also good and it revolves around two friends who always seem to be brought together by fate. But if you're the type who HATES being mushy, and too much romance, then If You Could See Me Now would probably be a safe bet for you.

Course Dilemma

Well, here it is again... new post, same topic. I don't know but I just feel so stuck right now. I was busy the whole day so right now I'm actually fighting to do this post to relieve how I feel somehow. Think of me having late-night sleeps (which is pretty much okay lang if I could wake up a little late, say about 8?) and last night, despite my longing to fall asleep, I felt very much awake. So after struggling with myself, I finally got myself to doze off at 0230H! Much earlier in the night, at 2200H, I set my alarm to go off at 0700H so that I could prepare before my cousin came by (she asked me to come along with her as they did their project in my bro's house); but in the end, I was awake by 0545H... MAN! It felt as though I were having a hang-over, and my head was pounding mercilessly....my eyelids were heavy and refused to open themselves but my body actually wanted to get up out of bed! THIS IS WAR!!! No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get back to sleep, so I dragged myself outta bed and tried to find something to do...

My cousin had asked me to join her (and some classmates) to my bro's house. They were gonna do some shooting there... MTV Style... I was thinking: COOL, at least I get to see somewhat of the things I'll be doing in Mass Comm. As I watched them do their thing, I couldn't help but get FREAKED OUT!!! THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT ME! I can't imagine my life going by doing this thing (as I had thought earlier on)... It actually brings me to tears (LITERALLY!) cos it's now I know clearly that I wanna be in med. school.
I WANNA BE A DOCTOR.

I've had many visions of this before but lately, I didn't want to believe in those visions anymore because of the many things I want to be... so I've started asking friends, and my family what they really imagine me to be... do they see me working in an office? do they see me as a chef? do they see me as a journalist? etc... I know I've got the potential to be anything I want... and many even do agree with me... MANY, if not all, agree that they really envision me as a doctor. I remember talking with my adviser (who also took up med.) long time ago, telling her of my plans of not pursuing med. any longer... I can't really explain how depressed she was at me then... talagang nagtampo siya sa akin... and now, I told her of my new plans to take up med. after mass comm. She was so happy, she kept pushing me to do it... She said it would be the happiest thing. It would be her dream to see me diagnose her someday... aaaaawww...

I am well-aware of the many hardships being a doctor undergoes...yet I think I'd like to give it a shot. I've read Nothing Lasts Forever (by Sidney Sheldon)... somehow, traumatic... I actually found myself making the book a reflection... I'd always stop to ask myself questions and imagine... but now I feel the strong urge na talaga... stronger than ever... I find myself deeply interested in the different sides of the hospital... I think I'd even prefer that compared to having a clinic of my own... but then again, who knows what the future holds? I've created a HUGE MISTAKE!!! CATASTROPHE!!! But I know, God's going to lead me to exactly where He wants me to be... There's no one I can depend on right now but on Him.

just another useless lingo

Just as i was having my breakfast this morning, this fact on the tv news caught my attention: Mga Estudyanteng Pilipino, hirap mag-Filipino. Okay,... and they treat it like it something soooo bad, soooo aweful. It's not that terrible, really. I talked the situation over with my mom and she just agrees with what I'm saying.

I'm thinking that's just a sign that we should go on and prioritize other things instead of the Filipino dialect. If they want to have other languages in our country, FINE! but better make that English and some other international language. After all, what's the point of studying our native language if it won't be able to help our county rise. This is because who else understands our Filipino language, aside from our native locals... We can't use our local tongues when we go speak with foreigners.

Surprises

After weeks of late-night sleeps and dinner-less evenings, it's finally over. I can't believe it! I've finally finished with my thesis last night.... and it feels sooooo good. I actually don't care about bagging the best thesis this time around, as I did last term (tho I'm hoping I do).
I remember that pre-oral defense we had last 21 November 2005. I actually wasn't nervous at all, only eager to get out of that room and go home. I thought I was lucky that I was picked to go last but noooo.... MAN WAS I WRONG!... I have watched the panelists question my other classmates and it was not pretty.... talagang sinabon nila ung lahat! And i thought I was going to die next, I was one of those few unfortunate enough to be after the "Death Row" of our section... Ü so I really thought I was gonna be placed down REALLY bad... I already began thinking of the negative things they could say to me (especially regarding my respondents) and thought of possible ways to get myself out of trouble... I couldn't think of any one way to get out for all the possible critics that came to mind... I actually began to feel nervous once I began speaking in front, especially with classmates asking me to finish immediately since we all wanted to go home (we were 1 hr and 30 mins OT na)... to cut the story short, none of what I had expected happened... it was quite the opposite...
The panelists loved my topic so much and said not one negative thing... One actually told me, "You may have been the last but you're definitely not the least... I really love your topic,..." And another day, as I was heading to lunch, I bumped into that same panelist and she stopped me (as we were on the stairs), and said something like "Hey, I love your topic... your's my favorite... I can't wait till your final defense..." Greatest joys in my life...
I'm so proud! I did this thesis all on my own... WOW!!!! Somehow I feel relieved that my thesis is finally done but somehow, I do feel pressured to still do my best on the final defense... I really want to get that "best thesis" thing-y again... like brother, like sister... bwahahahaha!

Thinking Out Loud *continuation*

CSAT
I remember taking the CSAT (College Scholastic Aptitude Test) on 11 August 2005. I felt mentally drained after that. My head hurt terribly the whole day, I tried to sleep it off as I got home, but I couldn’t even get myself to lie down. Later that evening, my mom suggested I take my BP… though I knew it was pointless (we didn’t even know what my normal BP should be)… she said, "at least we’ll know more or less" … BP result was 94/53. And I told you, she had no idea whether that was high or low (see? Pointless!) but somehow, I think that’s low, just not sure…

Days (or weeks) later, the results came in. I was so sorry that I didn’t take the test that seriously (namely in the Science and Inductive Reasoning sections). I didn’t feel like doing long computations any longer or straining my brain too much on these sections cos that was when I started to feel weak; I suddenly wasn’t feeling well. Wonder how much higher my score would have been if I had been more "perked" up to take the test... :(
Sayang! Just a few more points and my Standard Score would have been Excellent. I only needed a score of at least 669 to be considered such when I got a 641, meaning Superior (so, not that bad)… English, 736 (Excellent)… Mathematics, 715 (Excellent)… Science, 556 (High Average), sayang talaga… Inductive Reasoning, 500 (Average)… well, okay, I found the IR part to be the hardest… guess it’s cos I’m a left-brainer, not a right-brainer.. Overall, got a percentile rank of 92… not bad… somehow, it’s good since I scored high (my parents actually wanted to frame the results… tsss…), but somehow, it’s not enough, when I think that I could have done MUCH better on that Science part… the worse part… these things only come once… OUCH.


MAJOR HIT ON THE HEAD
Every New Year, our family stays at Bellevue and that’s where we have our family get-together and gift giving, since we are all busy during the Christmas season with all the reunions going on. Last New Year’s eve, my brother and I headed to the mall together since we both got bored staying in the hotel rooms and he needed to get some groceries. As we were strolling around the mall, my brother asked me what I got for his daughter (my inaanak) for Christmas. He wanted to make sure she would get something she would enjoy, like toys (and not books, she gets those all the time na raw), since kawawa naman ung bata. She had an accident earlier that day as she tripped while running around with her cousin (baby boy of my other brother). Anyways, we ended up reminiscing the times when I was a kid. He began making fun of me by stating that as a kid, it was hard to give me gifts. I was never a girly-girl, he said. I didn’t believe him. He went on saying that I never liked Barbie dolls, I never really played with them. I never really played bahay-bahayan, luto-lutuan, and all those girly games. I still refused to believe, cos I did remember doing those as a toddler. He clarified that I did play those stuff but not really that often, it was actually very rare to see me hold a doll. He said, "You know what you always were consistent at? What you always liked to play with? Your favorite game?" I looked at him, trying to see if he was trying to play with me or if he was really serious… and he was serious and so I asked him what it was… "doctor-doctor," he said. "You would always ask mommy and daddy to buy those doctor play sets. You even had this very nice play set dad bought in the States, the stethoscope even produces beating sounds.." he continued and at that moment I remembered.
They say if you want to know what you would enjoy doing in the future, what you would be successful at, look back on what you liked to do as a child… imagine yourself doing that for your whole lifetime.

Thinking Out Loud

Over the past week, many thoughts have been going on in my head… there’s the echo of our current lesson in Physics regarding the thermal efficiency of heat engines,... then, there's the nightmare on the world of sines, cosines, tangents, secants, cosecants, cotangents, ek ek… and, there’s that danger light flashing in my brain that serves as my warning and it reads: "MAGBASA-BASA KA NA SA PANITIKAN KUNG NAIS MO PA PUMASA!!!" hehe… cos fast fact lang: I have NEVER read a single chapter of any school book since I was a kid (except those for book reports and my science books), nor do I ever listen to the teachers (except in science again, and music- and probably also in stats, public speaking and methods of research)… I’m the type of person who basically just jots down notes and that’s it… so ewan ko lang pano ako pumapasa…hehe… I’ve never encountered doing any serious studying in my whole entire life! Ü

Anyway, all those thoughts in my head kept me "busy" lately… but during spare times, I couldn’t help but ponder on what was to become of my college life and life after that… it was only this week that I once again began panicking… wondering if I had made a right choice…
Listed below are the choices I had for college:

1. Medicine
2. Music
3. Culinary Arts
4. HRM
5. Mass Communications

Right now, the plan I have is to take Mass Communications then go on pursuing my real desire, Med. Not too bad, considering Mass Comm. is still on my top 5 choices. But somehow, I’m hoping I could wait that long… this route would take a minimum of 14 years!!! Golly wow! Imagine that time plus, the time I need to take up a specialization… oh well, it would all be worth it…

Music, let’s just say I was inspired to take this up when my "former" confidante (and then best friend) suggested I take this up instead of med during my junior years… he’s my music teacher and also our choir moderator… he kept giving my ego a lift saying things like "kaya mo iyan" or "galing-galing mo sa pagkanta/ sa choir/ sa music eh" or "sobrang gifted ka naman sa music eh,.. mag music ka na!" Yeah, it did intrigue me to, as he said, "explore the awesome world of music"… after all, music was another one of my passions…

Culinary Arts, one-year course that would allow you to earn as much as half a million dollars per month! But my parents still thought of it as a no-no, saying that I wouldn’t get to have a good future if I took that up and that I’d just end up being a waitress…READ: C-U-L-I-N-A-R-Y! CULINARY=CHEFS, not WAITERS… no use pointing out HRM, since they said almost the same things…
But now, as I think of it, somehow, it’s a blessing in disguise that I didn’t get to take up culinary arts…. I think now that would just have been a major insult to my abilities… the CSAT says it all, baby. Ü

Now, all that’s left is medicine, my top choice! … And I really am feeling so guilty I haven’t taken a shot at UPM, when earlier this school year I’ve been planning to take an entrance for their College of Medicine… grrr!
Medicine’s been my interest since I was probably a kid! I remember the last time I even went to the States, the first thing I actually bought with my own money was this book on nutritional healing, I used all my money then (which my uncle gave me) just to buy that book and I must say, it’s very useful till now. Aside from my interest, there was one more important reason I bought that book. When we stayed in Hawaii for some days (this was our first destination), I had suddenly gotten sick with tonsillitis… a SEVERELY painful tonsillitis. Despite all the medications I’ve been trying, my condition just seemed to grow worse until I saw that book and decided to check it out.. I looked under tonsillitis and then I saw under the list of recommendations listed… yogurt. Yes, yogurt... who would have thought?! I quickly informed my mom and we decided to opt for that instead of those other drugs I had been taking. Days later, I noticed the pain was gone! We wanted to go back and buy the book but alas, there was no time. We had to leave soon for our flight to San Francisco… imagine my delight when I saw that book in one of the stores in San Francisco, I quickly went nearer and found that I was in luck… it was their last copy (good thing my uncle gave me money on that day!)… *continued next post*